"that" mood.

I'm in "that" mood again; the mood where I feel out of place.
It happens every now and then, but it is the worst on Sundays.
I miss being missed.
I miss feeling like the Lord uses me to bring joy to others.
I miss home.


Feeling distant from my team is negatively affecting me and my ability to lead and serve.
I'm frustrated with myself for feeling like this; it feels selfish, and I can't stand that.


Lord,
Restore in m your Spirit.
Allow me to emit your joy, peace, and happiness.
Keep me strong. Remind me that I'm here for Your reason.
I know it will not and is not always easy, but I know that you have given me gifts specific to Your purpose for my life.
I trust you.
Help me to feel your presence.

Salty.

Tonight was my first attempt at making egg salad.
It didn't come out too shabby, just a little salty.
But still delicious.


School has been slow; I'm really struggling getting lesson plans done.
I believe my recent difficulty comes with the discovery of "differentiation".
Knowing that I shouldn't hold a student back until the others catch up is great! but it creates so much more work. I know it's worth it so I'm eager to create differentiated work, but it's a very time consuming project.


I had to yell at a student yesterday :( Not fun.
As per the advice of other teachers, I needed to show K that I was serious about being respected and that I just won't let everything fly. It was tough and I didn't like doing it, but it was necessary.
Hopefully, things will get better and we can move forward and stop having such setbacks.


Tomorrow a few teachers and I are going to the Unhappy Hour at the Edgar Allan Poe museum in Richmond.  I'm super excited!
It's going to be a really cool time to hang out with colleagues and sister, while celebrating fall with a good ol'fashioned Poe reading.


Dear Fall,
I'm grateful you're here.

Peter Bradley Adams.

I've made it through nine weeks of my first year.
Praise the Lord.
There are still so many other things I would rather do than lesson plans, but that's OK.


Quick update:
-mud bowl was awesome. I have scars and bruises--both sweet memories of the muddy event
-poison ivy. Where that came from eludes me.
-in new apt and enjoying it.


Peter Bradley Adams. 
His voice still takes me back to that wonderful bridge in Austria. 

The bridge where the Lord and I danced, conversed, cried, and held one another.

Oh, the loving rendezvous we would have daily.
My heart mourns its loss and my eyes are not willing to keep it a secret.
I miss it.
I miss that communion.
I miss how I longed for the Lord and his peace so greatly.
What a time it was to be so far from home and yet feel so close to God...

Sweet Nectar

Oh, iced coffee with Hazelnut and extra skim milk, how sweet you are to me.


Sissy and I are at Starbucks sipping our chosen nectar and catching up on life as Wilson Phillips plays in the background. What a nice time.
Coming home is always good for my soul; it feels so right.


Thursday is almost indescribable.  Bell 6 was just beyond tolerable and me being extra emotional that day made for an unfortunate combination.  I actually had to leave the room.  I was just so frustrated and I didn't want to say something I would regret.  My heart was just so broken for them.  God is so good and blessed me with a great support team of teachers.  Of course, Mrs L was my go-to and then some others came in the room to help me through my moment.  Here's hoping things are on their way up.


This week at school was Homecoming. Some of the kids really got into it and dressed up.  My favorite is when the teachers participate, so of course Friday "paint the town purple and gold" was awesome!  The football players asked different teachers to wear their jerseys to show support...and I don't mind saying I had 3 offers :)  It was the pick-me-up I needed after a really bad Thursday; grateful for the little victories.


Another small victory: getting my lamp built. Not such a victory: realizing the shelves for my bookshelf are in storage while the shelf is in my room. 
That was quite the fun discovery.  But on the up side, my room is coming along and Maya gets home tomorrow.  It'll be nice to have everything settled and just be able to leave work and come home and not have anything to hang up or assemble or organize.


Tomorrow is the 3rd Annual Mud Bowl at church; I am BEYOND STOKED!!! I can't wait to post a post-bowl picture up here (now that I know how to do that). 
The mud. The kids. The games. The tackles. I just know it's going to be great.
And a release I need.


Another fun thing: I'm getting more teacher friends.  Mr Ah and I have a funny e-mail banter going.  Reading the e-mail is like opening a prank gift everyday; so funny.

Fast Fertig.

The German exchange program at the high school is almost over: joy and dismay.
I love having the girls here and going on field trips and experiencing "first times" with them, but being gone from the class so much has really thrown me out of rhythm.  Hopefully, it won't take long to get back in the swing of things. But like I said, the field trips have been a lot of fun:
1. Edgar Allen Poe museum - AWESOME! I don't think the kids enjoyed it as much as I did, but I thought it was so cute.  What a hidden gem! The museum is in the "oldest standing house in Richmond", which is very tiny and unsuspecting, but so precious.
2. Picnic at Belle Isle - the original idea was kind of a bust, but we had a nice day and a nice lunch next to a nice shaded view of the James river.
3. Longwood - alma mater :)
4. William & Mary - nice, but I got mosquito bites while walking through some dumb wooded area which left a bad taste and an insatiable itch.
5. Colonial Williamsburg - always a favorite, but we were there just a little too long.  Maybe next time we should plan eating in between the W&M tour and walking around.  Everyone was so hungry we couldn't really enjoy the atmosphere.  But the Bindery was great as usual! I love the smell of old pages and the stories they are waiting to share :)
6. the Outlets - BRILLIANT! What a great time of bonding; not only for the students and the girls they are hosting, but for the students and I, too.  It was great to see the girls in a somewhat natural environment, but experiencing American brands/sizing for the first time.  Oh, simple joy.  And the Lord gave me a great gift in the form of a suede school boy blazer from J.Crew for 65% off!  Such a fun find!
7. Sno-to-go - enough said.
Things have been lots of fun and there are still two more field trips left for the week.  Send off on Friday will be a little more emotional that I initially expected.


Other than that, I bought a cool lamp; some have even called it "sexy".  So we'll see how "sexy" it is after I put it together...time to get out my tool belt :) My dresser and shelf have been somewhat put back together.  And by "somewhat" I mean in a shaky but assembled state.  I am hoping to remedy that this week in the midst of all the other things I have to do.


I am grateful for sleep.
I am grateful for the Lord's favor on me.
I am grateful for home.
I am grateful for friends.
I am grateful for the hearts with whom I get to share life.
LORD,
YOU are mighty and YOU are good.  Use your Holy Spirit to "widen my gaze" and to see the unseen; to see the opportunities to demonstrate love before they become missed.  Make me more like you.  Change my heart to yearn first and foremost for YOU and only YOU.
Purposely.
Devotedly.
Consciously.
Sincerely.