Not quite {the end}.

School has been out for a week now.
I wanted to post the day it was over in order to best capture my raw thoughts and feelings, but wrapping up a year can be exhausting, mentally and physically.
There was lots of packing, cleaning, double checking, chasing administrators, check lists, and various other seemingly unimportant things to get done.

Tragically and not-so-tragically, the German program was sacrificed under the sharp guillotine of budget cuts. Tragically because I hate to see German not be an option for students.  The argument that German is not a "necessary" language and that it takes a back seat to Spanish is no longer accurate or relevant.  German is more common on the internet than Spanish, and it is a dominating economic power in the world. It just seems like everyone is speaking Spanish; if you really listen, you can hear them speaking German...
And tragically for the students who just needed one more year.
My heart breaks for the students in general.

Not-so-tragically because I am free. Free to leave Farmville.
I am free to leave Farmville.
leave Farmville.
What does that mean?!
After 6 years my mailing address will not include Farmville, VA? Is it really possible?!
Is it really happening?
I am still trying to process that and then find "the next step".
There's a school in Hampton that needs a German teacher and the interview I had went really well.  In fact, I got a call yesterday asking for me to come in for an interview with the Assistant Principal. The school system in Hampton seems to be very foreign language driven which makes me excited to possibly work there.
But I want to travel...

I just feel like I need to get out of the country. Not trying to escape anything, but I haven't done a major trip in a long long time. 4 years! It's killing me. I'm restless.
So I've been looking at nannying/au pair jobs abroad. I love kids and it would be a great way to get over there (wherever "there" is) and not have to worry about lodging and things like that.  I'm just torn as to which way I'm supposed to go.
I've been seeking God's will so single-mindedly that I've completely ignored seeking Him.
Probably cause for the lack of clarity about what to do.
Here I am again in this spot of "I can do anything, so what do I do?"
a bittersweet blessing.

Not Logical.

I'm just furious.
And I try not to write when such is the case, but I just can't get it out of my head how incredibly unfair it is...
MY job is on the budget cut list. Yes. Fine. I get it; the program isn't widely popular and short-term minds don't see the benefit of teaching students German.
But I teach every day and I do my best.  I try and keep it fun, interesting, and show German's true value.  I think I do a good job, especially as this year's been such a learning experience.
However, what infuriates me is that my job is in danger when I just watched a PHYSICAL EDUCATION teacher paint her nails during class.
I repeat: the gym teacher painted her nails during class.
How is that acceptable?
Just sitting there and watching your class is one thing, but leaving to paint your nails...absurd.
It doesn't seem fair.
It's not fair.

A little Grimm and a little Chan.

It is May and there are 12.5 school days remaining.
Oh, sweet victory!
I cannot believe I have almost made it through my first year of teaching.
It's unglaublich! (unbelievable)
SOL time has arrived and the students are mentally fried, which is a perfect time to review material in preparation for the final exam, as well as introduce them to German literary culture, an easier curriculum.
What does that look like? Well, it looks a little Grimm...
The Grimm Brothers!!!

We are comparing the American/Disney and Grimm versions of some of the most well known fairy tales (i.e. Snow White, Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel).  Most people have no idea how different the two versions are and that the original endings are not quite as "happily ever after" as we believe.  I feel like it was a good idea to save this unit for the end when students are tired and have already mentally checked out.  The surprising brutality of the Brothers' writings tends to capture audiences, specifically those who are so used to the Disney resolution. Little do they know, there's a dark side that has been swept under the magic carpets...

Switching gears.

Thursday turned out to be surprisingly wonderful.
Something (which I believe to be the Spirit) woke me up at 3:53am. I tried to go back to bed, but fourteen minutes later I found myself dressed and heading to the gym.
After sweatin' it up to a mixture of One Direction and 'NSYNC Pandora stations, I went back to the apartment listened to a sermon given by Francis Chan, "The Biggest Lie In Your Life". 
Of course, it was exactly what I needed in this time of my life.
I've just been slipping away from God and what I mean by that is that I haven't been making Him a priority in my life. Francis was totally confessing the same sin.

My personal time with God is something I have let fall to the waist side. I wake up and read a passage, but I don't soak it in. Sleep is more important to me than knowing God more; at least that's how it would appear.
The way Francis phrased it was, "What is the biggest lie in your life?" And I realized that I use "I'm just so busy" as the number one LIE in my life.  Pastor Steven Furtick hit it home with "what your filling your time with is your heart's ambition."
Oh, gosh. Welp, there it is.
I'm filling my time with softball, friends, Young Life, teaching, school, figuring out the future, and a few other things. And those are all good things, but they aren't The Good thing.  His Word says in Ephesians, 

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works..."

So even though I am serving, my faith is what takes precedent; this hierarchy has been lost in the busyness of my life.

Jesus is a priority.
Jesus is my priority.
Jesus is THE priority.

Set me in the right spirit, Lord. 

I know I have a desire for you and to do Your will. 

Become THE priority in my life. 

Let everything else pale in comparison and may I be reminded of that shortcoming everyday. 

Be elevated in my life. 

Be my life.