"...even dragons have their endings."

"So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings." 

J.R.R. Tolkien 

The Hobbit

To say this last week was rough is an understatement.  In the past five days (so really not even a full week) I've had my character questioned, an event proposal turned down, didn't get the job I interviewed for, and had my heart broken.
It has been the worst week of my life.

After "losing" the job, which was an incredible opportunity at a health growing church, I could start to feel myself slip into depression.  I've never been depressed before, but I knew that's what it was.  The news came late Monday night and my thoughts went wild: "you should have stayed for third year.  Then you wouldn't have gone through this", "you're back to no prospects. You'll live with your parents forever", "you aren't good enough", "you did this wrong", "you did that wrong", etc.  It was awful. And I started to rationalise my depressed state, like it would have been totally understandable to everyone why I was so upset and since I've never been through anything like that it would have been "excused." I was going to let myself slip into depression.
But the next morning I woke up, went for a walk and decided differently.  As I was walking I was praying myself out of that victim mentality, completely saturating myself in Scripture.  I refused to go down without a fight; and fight I did. Victory came via God's Word and His Spirit.

Then on Wednesday, I decided to ask a man on a date.
And he said no.
There's a backstory that doesn't need retelling, but I was crushed.  Heartbroken. And some of you may be thinking "well at least he was honest", yes, I'm grateful. But it still sucked because I was hopeful...and in love. So it just sucked.
I cried the rest of Wednesday night, and Thursday was spent in bed either crying, staring into space, or asleep, and I just couldn't eat anything.   Unlike the day after the news about the job, this time I couldn't even pray; every time I opened my mouth I would start to cry. Every time.
I was devastated and felt depression rearing its ugly head.  I was so mentally exhausted I couldn't even stop my thoughts from going crazy.  This whole new level of disappointment made it even easier to excuse my inevitable comatose state.  I couldn't find the energy to get up out of bed much less declare war on Satan's attacks!

And then today. Friday.
I have been nothing short of astonished at the turn around I've had.  It was a major win when I was able to get out of bed this morning, eat breakfast and make it to my eye appointment without crying.  That was victory!  And then because it was the perfect summer day in October I went to the beach, which is always a good decision.  Then after the beach I made a new friend at the local Starbucks AND my softball team won both games.

Coach's daughter gave me this note during the game.
A message from the LORD? I think so.

Friday has been tearless and full of joy.  Which is wild to even comprehend considering where I was less than 24 hours ago.  Yes, I've had to switch the radio station a few times to avoid emotional (mostly country) songs and there's definitely been mental defence in play.
But it has been tearless.
Let me tell you how I think this happened:

"...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor ruler, nor things present nor things to come, not powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:37-39

Friends, to put it simply, I am sure that it is God's love for me that rescued me out of the depths of depression.  God tells us in Isaiah that His Word will not return void, it will accomplish what He desires (55:11) and He desires good good things for us.  The best, really.  That's why He sent Jesus.  Jesus is Heaven's best.  And I firmly believe that because I've been reading my Bible and getting Scripture in my heart His Word is in me.  

I will not return void.  

I will accomplish what He desires.

"Little children (believers, dear ones), you are of God and you belong to Him and have [already] overcome them [the agents of the antichrist]; because He who is in you is great than he (Satan) who is in the world."

1 John 4:4 (AMP)

I'm not foolish enough to believe there won't be work to do in the coming days and weeks, but I am child-like enough to believe that God has done a complete miracle in me!  

I had never seen darkness like I did on Thursday. I never thought I could feel so defeated.  But there I was, after so much disappointment in such a short period of time, I was defeated.

And for a small moment I thought "OK. Satan got me. Now he'll take a break."

YEAH RIGHT!! 

If we fool ourselves into thinking Satan just wants to win a battle here and there then we have indeed fooled ourselves.  Satan is on a seek-and-destroy mission all the time!  Taking me out was not going to satiate him.  My advice for all of us when we go through these times that bring us to the point of giving up: we ain't got time for that.  Take some time to mourn and rally those prayer warriors around you (to whom I contribute a large part of my recovery), but keep it moving.

Pastor Bobbie says, "keep your face to the wind." Or as our good friend Zac Efron would say, "Get'cha head in the game".  

I'm honestly just astonished at the healing power of Christ and couldn't keep my gratitude or excitement to myself.  My prayer is that you would be some kind of encouraged by the revelation from my worst week ever and that your experiences would lead you into a deeper love of Christ.  God doesn't save His grace and healing for massive events; He is willing and able to intervene on our behalf anytime we call His name.  Demons run and flee at His name ("The Great I AM") so claim it, friend.  Claim it.  Even when your words fail you your heart will cry out.

Be encouraged.