She don't got a lot to say.

The next week is fixin' to be pretty brilliant.
Tonight is our Halloween Party and I'm super excited! I'm mentally preparing myself to start getting things ready.

To where I think the Lord is leading me: Australia.
Weird, right?
Sarah and I put Australia on the "do not visit" list due to rumors of vicious kangaroos and the impending death known as sharks. But over the past few months I've been working on knowing God' Word better.
I know I love Jesus more than anything, but I'm not confident in my knowledge of the Bible. And I want to be!
If I know nothing else, I know I want more of Him.
So I've been researching Bible colleges, locally and not-so-locally. Which is how I got to Australia: Hillsong International Leadership College.  Their values and beliefs align with what I believe, the church is similar in size to Shores which is something I was hoping to find. So after a few emails with the admissions people, prayer, and some financial research, I've decided to keep pursing this possibility.  I'm still praying through the whole thing, but whilst working on my application.

It's just been so long since I've really made a new friend: someone who doesn't know anyone in my family, is from a different place, and is over the age of 20. That's what I love! I love meeting new people. I love discovering things about them. I love making memories and I love adventure. It's not always easy and it definitely gets lonely, but in those moments I discover new things about my heart.  One of the moments when I was closest with God was the first month in Austria.

The only person I could consistently run to and without judgement was, and very much still is, Jesus.  It was great. There's no reason I can't have that kind of proximity in everyday life, but something about being forced out of comfortable areas really reminds me of how "made to be with Him" I am.
So we'll see where this goes.

Ketchup and Cake Plops

It has been quite a while since I last posted; not for lack of activity, but for lack of remembering to post. Simple, huh?

Well, let's go ahead and play a little catch up:

• a school district offered me a job for this coming year, but I declined. It just didn't feel right. The Holy Spirit just wasn't giving me a peace about working in that particular school, which leads me to the next point.
• i believe the Lord is calling me to move abroad.  I'm currently feeling London. The details are still a little fuzzy as I'm still praying through it.  However, I do think He doesn't want me to go until January. So who knows, 2013 might be the year of Europe!
• i am a Barista at Starbucks.  I've only worked the past 2 weeks, but I really enjoy it.  The pressure is ON constantly. People know what they want and they don't want you to mess it up. So I'm trying my best to learn at the fastest rate possible. People seem to be receiving the joy I'm emitting, so that's helpful. I might not be quick, but I'm "nice and peppy".
• i am participating in a wiffle ball league.  We are {unofficially} team "Y.A.MS" aka Young Adult Ministries. Not the best name, but definitely better than being labeled "the singles". Cathi and Sarah are on the team with me and we're having just a blast! We lost 9-17 to the defending league champs, but like Sarah said at practice, "If there's fun to be had, we're going to be having all of it!" :) she's so cute.
• the girls and I have been able to spend a lot of time together. I'm really enjoying that. Period.
• Maggie and I are hosted a baby shower for Baby Beckett. I attempted to make cake pops, but they turned out more like cake plops.  Tasty, but ugly.
• i've gained weight. not excited about that at all.
• i am registered for one class at ODU to maybe get something happening with this teaching degree.

That's really it.

Not much.

Just keeping busy, but not distracted; I'm grateful to have learned the difference.

three-ohhhhhhhh.

I've recently been reading Lauren Weisberger books (the woman who wrote Devil Wears Prada) and it seems to have a few reoccurring themes: young professional women living in New York, unexpected relationship, a major change: job, environment, or life goal, and they all seem to be close to 30 years old.  I have really enjoyed the stories I've read (Chasing Harry Winston and Everyone Worth Knowing), but I can't help think that I need to be afraid of turning the big three-oh.
Of course that's 6.5 years away, but it's going to happen.
Another theme in Weisberger's books is promiscuity, which is fun to read about and if I let myself get "too involved", it can be tempting.
Honestly.
I've always believed in waiting for marriage, at least since I was old enough to really believe in anything.  Not simply because it's what God expects of me, but because my future husband deserves that.
When I get lost in the world of characters just randomly "hooking up" with guys they meet it is easy to think, "that does sound like fun."  Except for the massive hangovers that typically accompany the girls after a night of "hooking up", the crazy spontaneity sounds appealing.  And then I remember; I don't really want that.  Because the Lord loves me, I know I'm worth more than just one crazy night with some random guy.
I'm worth the commitment.
I'm worth exclusivity.
I'm worth true love.
Everyone deserves that.
I don't know, I'm just really excited to see my husband's face when I tell him with every ounce of honesty and affection that I have my whole heart to give him. I haven't wasted it on some cute boy at bar, or on a drunk decision. That'll be a good moment.

Grandpa's cooking :)

Time well spent.

Anyway, Sissy and I just got back from a really great trip to Jersey to spend some time with the grandparents.  It was great.

Really great.

Just getting away, no commitments, no packed house of family members, no phone calls, and a little bit of NYC.

Brilliant.

Not quite {the end}.

School has been out for a week now.
I wanted to post the day it was over in order to best capture my raw thoughts and feelings, but wrapping up a year can be exhausting, mentally and physically.
There was lots of packing, cleaning, double checking, chasing administrators, check lists, and various other seemingly unimportant things to get done.

Tragically and not-so-tragically, the German program was sacrificed under the sharp guillotine of budget cuts. Tragically because I hate to see German not be an option for students.  The argument that German is not a "necessary" language and that it takes a back seat to Spanish is no longer accurate or relevant.  German is more common on the internet than Spanish, and it is a dominating economic power in the world. It just seems like everyone is speaking Spanish; if you really listen, you can hear them speaking German...
And tragically for the students who just needed one more year.
My heart breaks for the students in general.

Not-so-tragically because I am free. Free to leave Farmville.
I am free to leave Farmville.
leave Farmville.
What does that mean?!
After 6 years my mailing address will not include Farmville, VA? Is it really possible?!
Is it really happening?
I am still trying to process that and then find "the next step".
There's a school in Hampton that needs a German teacher and the interview I had went really well.  In fact, I got a call yesterday asking for me to come in for an interview with the Assistant Principal. The school system in Hampton seems to be very foreign language driven which makes me excited to possibly work there.
But I want to travel...

I just feel like I need to get out of the country. Not trying to escape anything, but I haven't done a major trip in a long long time. 4 years! It's killing me. I'm restless.
So I've been looking at nannying/au pair jobs abroad. I love kids and it would be a great way to get over there (wherever "there" is) and not have to worry about lodging and things like that.  I'm just torn as to which way I'm supposed to go.
I've been seeking God's will so single-mindedly that I've completely ignored seeking Him.
Probably cause for the lack of clarity about what to do.
Here I am again in this spot of "I can do anything, so what do I do?"
a bittersweet blessing.

Not Logical.

I'm just furious.
And I try not to write when such is the case, but I just can't get it out of my head how incredibly unfair it is...
MY job is on the budget cut list. Yes. Fine. I get it; the program isn't widely popular and short-term minds don't see the benefit of teaching students German.
But I teach every day and I do my best.  I try and keep it fun, interesting, and show German's true value.  I think I do a good job, especially as this year's been such a learning experience.
However, what infuriates me is that my job is in danger when I just watched a PHYSICAL EDUCATION teacher paint her nails during class.
I repeat: the gym teacher painted her nails during class.
How is that acceptable?
Just sitting there and watching your class is one thing, but leaving to paint your nails...absurd.
It doesn't seem fair.
It's not fair.

A little Grimm and a little Chan.

It is May and there are 12.5 school days remaining.
Oh, sweet victory!
I cannot believe I have almost made it through my first year of teaching.
It's unglaublich! (unbelievable)
SOL time has arrived and the students are mentally fried, which is a perfect time to review material in preparation for the final exam, as well as introduce them to German literary culture, an easier curriculum.
What does that look like? Well, it looks a little Grimm...
The Grimm Brothers!!!

We are comparing the American/Disney and Grimm versions of some of the most well known fairy tales (i.e. Snow White, Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel).  Most people have no idea how different the two versions are and that the original endings are not quite as "happily ever after" as we believe.  I feel like it was a good idea to save this unit for the end when students are tired and have already mentally checked out.  The surprising brutality of the Brothers' writings tends to capture audiences, specifically those who are so used to the Disney resolution. Little do they know, there's a dark side that has been swept under the magic carpets...

Switching gears.

Thursday turned out to be surprisingly wonderful.
Something (which I believe to be the Spirit) woke me up at 3:53am. I tried to go back to bed, but fourteen minutes later I found myself dressed and heading to the gym.
After sweatin' it up to a mixture of One Direction and 'NSYNC Pandora stations, I went back to the apartment listened to a sermon given by Francis Chan, "The Biggest Lie In Your Life". 
Of course, it was exactly what I needed in this time of my life.
I've just been slipping away from God and what I mean by that is that I haven't been making Him a priority in my life. Francis was totally confessing the same sin.

My personal time with God is something I have let fall to the waist side. I wake up and read a passage, but I don't soak it in. Sleep is more important to me than knowing God more; at least that's how it would appear.
The way Francis phrased it was, "What is the biggest lie in your life?" And I realized that I use "I'm just so busy" as the number one LIE in my life.  Pastor Steven Furtick hit it home with "what your filling your time with is your heart's ambition."
Oh, gosh. Welp, there it is.
I'm filling my time with softball, friends, Young Life, teaching, school, figuring out the future, and a few other things. And those are all good things, but they aren't The Good thing.  His Word says in Ephesians, 

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works..."

So even though I am serving, my faith is what takes precedent; this hierarchy has been lost in the busyness of my life.

Jesus is a priority.
Jesus is my priority.
Jesus is THE priority.

Set me in the right spirit, Lord. 

I know I have a desire for you and to do Your will. 

Become THE priority in my life. 

Let everything else pale in comparison and may I be reminded of that shortcoming everyday. 

Be elevated in my life. 

Be my life.

Anticipation.

I can feel it.
Beyond my bones.
I can feel it in my spirit; the Friday before Spring Break is finally upon us!
Sarah and I will be heading to New York City in 11 hours.
I have not a thing packed and laundry to do.
Not only am I packing for New York, but also for the week of Break, and to move out of my apartment. A lot of packing.
But nothing's going to bring me down. I'm SOOOOOOO excited!
I just know things are going to be a bunch of fun. And we're going to go to the Hillsong church on Easter; what a special treat!


Things at school are starting to get crazy. The kids are restless to say the least and they're fighting more often. The teachers have told me that after SB things go downhill quickly. I'm trying to stay upbeat and positive about what the weeks after SB may hold, but from what I've seen this week...oh, golly.
Softball practice yesterday was a lot of fun. We were able to get on the real field and it was so great for the girls.  Since a lot of them don't have sport experience, we were able to run plays and talk about why we make the plays we make.  Getting the opportunity to actually discuss why we do things was super educational and will help improve our playing. Which of course would be great!
It's not even about winning, it's just about getting better and having fun. Sometimes they have too much fun and don't learn anything, which means losing games at a larger margin than before.  I've just got to keep positive, because I know they pick up on that.  They're picking up on the some of my sayings (oh-em-gee, etc), so I know they're definitely taking on my outlook.
A precious gift from the Lord.