Gavin's words.

"I wanna be free.
Wind in my hair.
Salt on my skin.
Sun in the air.
I have to feel love holding on me."


I do. I just want to sit back and enjoy the view...sometimes.
Actively participating can be more fun, but much more mentally activating.


I've checked a box on the employment intent form. And I've sealed the envelope.
But it is still sitting in my desk.
Why can't I just send it in?
I know I want to be home. the sevenfiveseven.
By the beach where salt on my skin and wind in my hair isn't a planned event.
I've just been in Farmville too long. Being in one place (that isn't home) for too long is "settling". As a single woman, "settling" can be unsettling.  
{As contradictory as that is.}
And that's OK. I don't have to be settled.
Much the antithesis of all my thoughts as I peruse Pinterest.
Oh, that site....


But things are going well. School is going, which is great!
I've started to figure out how to use the apps on the iPads for review and games.
I can do this.
The Lord is my joy.


And I've recently developed an obsession with 2 things: Gavin DeGraw and Adele's version of "I Can't Make You Love Me"

The day I cleaned the pantry.

I have been fearless against the feared.
I have stood fast against the appalling.
My hands have touched that which makes grown men vomit.
I have cleaned the pantry.
Oh, the sweet feeling of accomplishment!
I was in the pantry from 7:27am til 2:30 pm, but it is super organized and clean; there's even 2 empty racks!
Let's see how long that will last.

Tis the season, but it's been a weird one. I feel like things have just been "weird" this year. Most likely due to my recent transition into "grown up life" aka the teaching job.
I'm enjoying the Christmas break a lot. Almost an alarming amount.
I've been in the "I don't want to teach" mood. It's more of a "I don't want to do the work to teach" mood.  I really enjoy teaching, but the work is exhausting.  Hopefully, it's just because it's my first year.
I've decided that for now, I will stay in Farmville and teach another year. Until the Lord moves me elsewhere, I will serve Him in the 434. And work on being joyful about it.

New Year's has the potential to be epic this year.  There's a large group of my favorites from college getting together: Adam, Anna, J, Krew, Jonathan & Caroline, K-diry & Courtney, Shanee & Grandin, Lee & Lauren, Megan, Kyle, Tyler, and possibly a few more. I'm extremely excited to see everyone. As much as I'd love to be dancing with my girls from high school, this will be beautiful. I'm hoping someone takes a ton of pictures! I miss everyone so much.

Time to enjoy the day the Lord has given me.

PS Kelly and Hoshua got engaged!!! Holy cow!

Oh la la.

I just discovered the world that is Pintrest.com
What a world of fun DIY crafts and ideas!!! There are a few I'm just super excited to try out :)
On other happenings...
Not much on the home front:

• school has a week and a half left
• went to Lynchburg yesterday
• in Richmond today
• ready to go home

I wish this were a little more exciting, but alas, I cannot remember all of the ventures I've had lately and my commitment to my blog has fallen to the waist side.  I just know things have been busy as per usual and I am really enjoying myself.

My dedication to the gym has grown, which makes me feel better all over.

I've been having better moments with the Lord; deeper, more intentional, more purposeful moments with Him. It's been a wonder to learn new things and be encouraged, challenged, and pushed to be more like Him.

Oh, how beautiful he is.

"The Chronicles of Narnia" has been on my metaphorical night stand for a bit and it is coming along quite smashingly.  CS Lewis is a magician when it comes to story telling; I've excitedly made it through "The Magician's Nephew" and "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe". Discovering the gospel through this tale has been a delight! I'm excited to keep reading.

Man Down. Woman Bitten.

"Gobble" is a funny word. I am not quite sure what about it I specifically find peculiar, but there's something...


Another Thanksgiving has passed and as we still enjoy the leftover green bean casserole (my favorite!) and desserts, we so bask in the warmth of love in the room.
Something happens to me when there's so many of my step family in the room. Much like the oddity of "gobble", I cannot put my finger on what it is; all I know is that I draw somewhat inwards.  It keeps me at a distance.
Maybe that's what I want.
Maybe I just don't know.
Whether extrovert or introvert, it was a delightful time of togetherness.


One of my favorite Thanksgiving regularities? Charlie Brown! That blockhead has a special place in my heart.
Sissy and I ventured out on our first Black Friday experience. Whoo and was it that: an experience! It was crazy for sure; Wal-Mart was borderline obscene.  The surprising thing was that the madness which drove people to forget themselves was not over major electronics, it was toys.  When the Tonka trucks were "released", it was chaos! There was hootin' and hollerin', people were shoved, pushed, and just plain man-handled.
While talking with some of the others in line at the camera counter (of which my waiting was in vain. I discovered the same camera for which I stool in line for the same price...online.) we were told that a woman had been bitten over a toy.
Seriously?! You are a small child.
How is your first reaction, or even any reaction at all to bite someone?!
Go home and get in your crate.
Absurd.
However, the upside is that Sissy got a great deal and Target was a much better adventure.  Although just as packed, it was much more organized and monitored which kept the violence to a minimum. 
Pleasingly executed, Target. Well done.  


Over the next few days as I rest up, I'm fixing to: get lesson plans done, tattoo in memory of Granny (6 months on Sunday), and set up a New York trip. 
Of course spending as much time at the gym and Starbucks as possible.
Let's hope all goes well. 

Maybelline.

My beauty is not a product of cosmetics or anything that can be bought;

the Lord is my creator and from Him is where my beauty comes.

That's not conceited. 

It is truth.

I have come to the realization that sometimes I put my confidence in eyeliner and mascara. I depend on those things to make people notice me. To feel beautiful. To feel confident.
Are my eyelashes clumpy? Does the emerald bring out my eyes more than the cappuccino? Those are my questions as I attempt to achieve beauty approved by the world.
But God has gently reminded me that He made me perfect. Not pretty enough that makeup can "finish the job", but genuinely and uniquely beautiful.
Even at 23, I'm still learning to reject what the world tells me and to recklessly rely on Christ.

Domestic.

I've been following recipes and delicious things have been produced. 
What a small, but sweet victory to make something people like to eat!
I always feel a great sense of femininity when I have my apron on and am trying to figure out whether the barely there ink says "tbs" or "tsp".


Things at school have been good. One of my classes is learning about the Brothers Grimm so I am getting to read fairy tales to them.  I love it!!! Reading to them is so much fun and the fact that it relates to German culture is such a gift.
In the language classes, we're learning verbs, which means we get to play "Charades" and "pictionary" and fun things like that. Any excuse I have to take the kids outside is a good enough excuse.


Tonight, part of the Prince Edward YL team went out to see "Tower Heist"; it was funny.  I really enjoy Ben Stiller, so I had high hopes. But more so I relished the time I was able to spend with my fellow teammates. Hopefully, next time all 5 of us will be able to make it.


The Lord is so good.
He has been filling me with extra joy.
I confident it's been a result of spending quality time with Him.
Things are good.
Things are very good.

"that" mood.

I'm in "that" mood again; the mood where I feel out of place.
It happens every now and then, but it is the worst on Sundays.
I miss being missed.
I miss feeling like the Lord uses me to bring joy to others.
I miss home.


Feeling distant from my team is negatively affecting me and my ability to lead and serve.
I'm frustrated with myself for feeling like this; it feels selfish, and I can't stand that.


Lord,
Restore in m your Spirit.
Allow me to emit your joy, peace, and happiness.
Keep me strong. Remind me that I'm here for Your reason.
I know it will not and is not always easy, but I know that you have given me gifts specific to Your purpose for my life.
I trust you.
Help me to feel your presence.