Cross = Love: my testimony.

16 days 'til Easter and Hillsong has started a church-wide effort to spread the love of Christ throughout the city.  There's something everyday from encouraging three people to writing a thank-you note.  The small pamphlet is such a brilliantly creative, yet completely practical way to show love.  Once again, the team has fully equipped us to be on mission (MISSION DEI).

Today's bit is to "share your testimony with someone" and since I didn't have the opportunity to share with someone in the city, I figured I'll use what I have (this blog) to be on mission.  After all, that's my hope for this space: that it would lead people to Jesus in small and great ways, whatever that looks like for everyone who ends up here.

As you read this, please try and read it with a smile on my face.  I say nothing out of bitterness, blame, or regret.  I love my parents and have been healed from anger and an unforgiving spirit.  Forgiveness freed me. Forgiving freed me.

With that said, here's the "short bus ride" version of my testimony:

My parents got divorced with I was about 3 or 4.  The God I "knew" was the God who took dads away, so that's the God I grew up knowing.  God didn't really factor into my life one way or the other, good or bad.  My mom became really abusive towards my sister and I, but I've always been a happy girl.  I suppose I just thought things were normal; all kids had a bit of what was my everyday, right?

Things were fine.

But when I was 13 I got in some trouble with the law (which is all the detail you get in the "short bus ride" version).  So the last resort I had was to bargain with God. You know the prayer, "God, if you get me out of here I'll never (fill in the blank) again."  And the next day I was out.  

Three things came out of that:

1. I had just met Jesus for the first time (I didn't become a Christian, I just met Him)

2. it's the first time I knew God was real

3. and maybe He wasn't such a bad guy

So from then on things went back to my normal.  When I was 16 there was another incident with my mom and my sister and I ended up moving in with our dad and his new family.

He made my sister and I go to church and youth group. 

It was awful.

No one talked to us.  My sister had a lip piercing.  I had an eyebrow piercing. And none of the kids talked to us.

It sucked.

And then of course my dad signed us up for summer camp...

When the other students realized I wasn't who they assumed me to be (and that I'm actually awesome), things got better and I made friends.  The third day of camp, Stewie (the speaker) talked about how you play different roles in your life, specifically the fool.

I knew that was exactly who I was.  I was playing the fool.

I had been hopping from group to group, from the preps to the punks, trying to fit in.

I was playing the fool. Searching for identity.

That night I fell in love with Jesus.

And from there it's been a journey.  

Not always easy, not always tough, but I've never felt lost like I was before.  

Since July 15, 2005 I have always felt identified, noticed, counted, and cared for by God.

My prayer is that in some way this encourages you and that you would know your testimony is powerful.  Every story of salvation is a rescue story; get excited about it! Don't keep good news to yourself. And don't keep The Good News to yourself.

Tomorrow's goal is to encourage 3 people.

Have a go at it :)

'til next time friends.

cross = love

Pieces & Pictures.

Greetings, friends & family.  I know what you're thinking...

"SURPRISE! SURPRISE! SURPRISE!
She actually updated her blog!"

A lot of my evenings have looked like this, so I've been a little distracted :)

I'm sorry for the great delay, but it has been quite a full couple of weeks.

Isn't she precious.

We are just coming out of a great Colour Conference: Hillsong's women conference.  And I wish every woman could attend at some location around the world, but I kept visualizing (I believe with my heart more than my mind) that my Nonna, sister, and step-mom would be with me at one in the future.  Nonna's in her 80's but I know (in Jesus' Name!!!) she's got a whole lot of life in her :)

I discovered a new spot: Giles Baths.

It's a section of Coogee beach separated by rocks, 

which makes it kind of grotto-esque, 

without being sketchy.  

Psalm 1:3 says 

"That person (who delights in the law of the Lord) is like a tree planted by streams of water, 

which yields its fruit 

in season 

and whose leave does not wither -- whatever they do prospers."

What encourages me is the metaphor of a tree.  This sounds too simple to say, but whatever, if something isn't dying then it's living, which means it's growing.  I'm not in a fruit producing season, at least not one that I recognize.  But I'm also not in a "dead" season.  Which leaves me with my only option of being in a growing season.

Sometimes being here at this type of college can seem a little more grey than black & white.  A little more unsure of where I am than definite growth or definite backsliding.   So I'm currently taking comfort in the idea that I am a tree in a growing season that is working on producing fruit.

Does that make sense?

Like, an apple tree doesn't make apples all year long.  But when it's not making apples, it's in the process of growing them. 

I think I'm in that season.

Self propelling into the next stage is kind of fun.  Satisfying to know that you can be your own cheering squad to form new and better devotional habits.  Self-encouraging isn't something a lot of us are used to.

I'm content, but looking forward to the more that is to come.

Briefly, but worth mentioning:

Campaign Confidence - I'm towards the middle of the page. After the babe in the red dress :)

Campaign Video - A short video they put together of the day.

There was more, but in an attempt to save my post it deleted itself and quite frankly I'm mentally exhausted.

Thank you for your prayers.

I miss you. and love you.

The Storm that Took Over Sydney.

Catching Vision.

Vision Sunday: the day when Pastor Brian conveys his (and Bobbie's) heart and vision for the church for the upcoming year.  


It really sets the tone and helps everyone to be on the same page in regards to the direction the church is heading.  As Vision Sunday grew closer we kept hearing more and more about it: "Vision Sunday this..." "Vision Sunday that..." 
Facebook. 
Instagram. 
Every method of communication was utilized.  
The hashtag around it was #pioneeragain.  
I knew it was going to be cool, but it also felt very "for the church" and not like a personal investment.  I love Hillsong and being a part of so many things, but I knew all the pioneering talk was about taking the church forward and that's it.
Well...
I thought I knew...
And then Vision Sunday happened.
And I caught it. I caught the vision.

Here it is (the way I feel the Spirit put it in me as I sat in church on Sunday morning):
We are pioneering for the House as a whole, yes, but it's just as important for me to catch it for myself.  I don't believe #pioneeragain is just for The House, but for my life as well.  
God is doing something fresh in my life; taking new territory in my heart and spirit that has been previously uninhabited.
I'm excited.
I caught it.
Catching the vision and pioneering isn't only for me: it's for the churches, places, and people I'll be influencing, impacting, pioneering...it's all waiting for me!!!!

Something clicked.  I'm not sure what it was, but once I realized that Vision Sunday wasn't only about the church, but also my personal life...it's all barely explicable!  
Man, it's the coolest (which sounds lame, but trust me it's not)!

"Pioneering isn't just for ourselves, 

it's for others, too."

Ps Brian Houston

Today

SUPERBOWL!!!! 

It was great.  

It felt incredibly American and wonderful to be in a room full of friends singing the National Anthem, rooting for said teams (even though any enthusiasm for the Broncos became moot after the 3rd quarter), and the seasoned meshing with the new.

Basic half time show review:

Bruno Mars = killed it!

Red Hot Chili Peppers = what?!

After a great football game of our own in the dog park, I came back to spend some personal time with my Father.  I was reading about and picking up some wisdom, which are both activities more of us could benefit from.  Then I began to pray and somewhere in my prayer I muttered "Lord, do new things in my life." 

And then it hit me: HE IS DOING NEW THINGS!!!!

Ummmmm, didn't I just a few hours ago "catch the vision"? Have I already forgotten?!

I'm in Australia.  I'm at bible college.  I'm growing.  I've learned (and keep learning) about the Spirit.

Lynne, 

He is doing new things.  

New things are happening.  

Don't be a routine pray-er; not much about your life is routine. 

Thank you, Jesus!  

Refuse to let this get old or mundane.

Revel.

Revel in it all.

You are here FOR others.

You've been brought into the Kingdom FOR others;

for His glory.

Get about it!!

One last thing: whilst I love & miss many things about home,  I'm not envious of the snow.

 

< USA vs     AUS >

Lists and Thank Yous.

The end of 2013 is here.

When did that happen?!

Does anyone else feel like this year flew by in warp speed?

No?

Just me?

Ok.

This post will consist of a few lists: 

lists of firsts, 

things I've learned, 

and my hope for 2014. 

(Plus a few fun never-before-seen pictures that are purely fun memories)

(a few) First Timers

touched the Pacific ocean

met people from Finland

fell in love

ate a Kangaroo

wrote a sermon

pretty much everything in Australia

New Year's Resolution

only use the word "literally" when something is literally happening.

I invite you, world, to join with me in that.

(a few) Things I've Learned

• a sense of entitlement can be blinding
• the goal should be to help people, not to impress them
• America is the best. country. ever.
• an active relationship with Holy Spirit is just as important as one with Christ
• not giving 100% is a waste
• my heart is for home

(this is just a special inexplicable moment)

Thank you to everyone who has been a part of this year.  Thank you Allen Yam's core tutorial for being the most extraordinary group of people and for relentlessly giving yourselves to the cause of Christ.  Each of you inspire me in a different way.  

Thank you, sisters, for carrying me.  For all the "ugly cry" FaceTime calls, the kind reminders of hope,  the silent hugs and times you just sat with me (possibly the most beautiful expression of love).  Your compassion is what got me through many weak moments, and is still keeping me moving.  I had no idea how many sisters I had all over the world; thank you for coming into my life when you did.
Stay forever.
I love you all.

Hope for 2014

My biggest hope for 2014 is that it would stay on this upward trajectory.  This year has been a time of deep heartbreak and grand freedom. 

Growth isn't often easy.  

And even as I express my hope for this coming year, I am in a season of trying to form new habits and take captive my thoughts.  But I've experienced so much grace and kindness from the Lord, I am assured He's aware of me (which sounds weird, yes, but knowing you're not forgotten is a sweet sweet thing).

I have no plans for 2014.  God has shown me time and time again that my plans are weaksauce compared to His.

So here we go, Lord. Let's do this.

Cheers to 2014!

Short but oh so Sweet.

Is it possible to explode from pure joy?
Because if it is I feel like I should warn the people sitting next to me.
I might. just. explode!

Maybe this is what Elizabeth felt like when John leaped in her womb (Luke 1) at the presence of Christ; like what was inside could barely be contained but even if it did "escape" it wouldn't be painful or scary or anything we associate with sudden events.  But more so the most beautiful expression of elation, too much for all known vocabulary. 
Only a joyful noise could suffice.
Being uncontrollably emotional is typically an undesirable quality, but this...this is too good.

I'M SO HAPPY TO BE IN AMERICA!!!! I'm in the Dallas airport, somewhere I've never been before, and the 5 hour layover hasn't dampened my spirit at all.  My face is uncontrollably glowing and unapologetic laughing escapes my lips.
What a joyful state (of being, not specifically Texas, although I'm sure it's a fine place)!

Let's do this!

The icy border of Mexico.

The plane ride from Australia to Dallas was quite long; I wasn't very tired so I was up all but four sporadic hours:
4 full length movies
7 sitcom episodes
1 THS documentary
and 2 partially viewed unentertaining movies
Productive flight, hey?

Well, that's all for now.
I just wanted to let you know what took place just in case I do in fact explode.

"Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. 

It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained."

Terry Pratchett

Home in time for the Christmas PJ Party.

'Tis the Season

As Christmas draws near the temperature is rising.  It just doesn't seem right in my Northern Hemisphere mindset, but I do love summer :)

All things college are on break and this past week the airport has been a hotspot as friends head off to home, new home, and holiday destinations.  As my good friend Will would say, "parting is such sweet sorrow."

The main thing I want to update you guys about is Grad Ball.  Grad Ball is an event at the end of the year where the mass of Hillsong College gets "all dolled up" and celebrates the end of a school year.  For most of the semester it's all people could talk about: how much fun it is, who is going with whom, who is wearing what, etc.  And all the hype was totally on point!
As with everything else Hillsong does, the ball was nothing short of brilliant!

the fellas looking quite dapper

 

The whole night was amazing and (in my opinion) non-coincidentally fell on Thanksgiving in America.  I have so much to be grateful for including my flatmates. My sisters.  Never could I have imagined random placement to go so well.  Truly grace from The Lord.

It was great to help some of our friends experience their
1st American Thanksgiving! 

And then there was that night I got us into Justin Bieber's after party.  No big deal ;)

That really is a crazy story, but it happened.
Yes, we walked the purple carpet at Sydney's #1 night club.
Yes, Justin Bieber was there.
Yes, we saw him.
No, we weren't allowed to take pictures.
Yes, there were glow in the dark pool noodles.
Yes, we had the best time.
Yes, you should be jealous.

.

.

.

.

.

One personal goal for this season is to not run empty.  To not let being on summer break become an excuse for not staying full in the Spirit.  It is my responsibility to engage with Christ.  If I depend on my trainers and chapel to do it, I am a dependent Christian dependent on the wrong things.  

Wherever you are, brothers and sisters, be responsible for your relationship with Christ.  Get in His presence everyday.  Don't forget to pray.  Engage!

"We are no good if we only have a full cup.  

We need to have an overflowing cup all the time.  

It is a tragedy not to live in the fullness of overflowing."

Smith Wigglesworth

"...ever be filled {to overflowing} and stimulated with the Spirit."

Ephesians 5:18 AMP

#occupyallstreets

I'll be home soon. 
Very soon, thank you, Jesus.
It's not just missing home (get ready for the dramatics), but my soul craves it. Beyond yearning, beyond want, it's needed.  How cool that the Lord turned my "I might stay in Australia forever" into "I'm going to be one of the vessels that brings and fosters revival in my hometown".
What a dream!
He's such a gracious God.

So I've started to compile a list of things I would like to do whilst I'm home.  I'll be home for about a month (for my friends and family who are reading this, feel free to be apart of making any/all of the following a reality.  Your company is really what I want):

• Christmas lights at the beach
• Hot chocolate, yoga pants, movies, and snuggle time on the couch (cough cough Towns family cough cough)
• HEAPS of catch-up coffee dates
• a parade
• Christmas party
• Church
• More church
• BFF snuggles (start planning your date night, Josh and Ashley)
• Bible study
• A few nights with my "other family" (mac n' chesse and pillow talk included)
• visit the 434 and the ever-growing Fehr family
• shenanigans with Hobbles
• Shores sporting events and lunch dates
• more coffee dates
• more snuggle times
• more and more

One of my favourite movie scenes of all time is the opening scene from "Love Actually", when Hugh Grant gives his airport monologue: 

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, 

but I don’t see that. 

It seems to me that love is everywhere. 

Often it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there – 

fathers and sons,

 mothers and daughters, 

husbands and wives, 

boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. 

When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. 

If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that 

love actually is all around.

In my mind (and heart) I know who I hope to see at the airport; it's going to be wonderful.

That kind of wonderful when you open the mailbox to see a post card (or heaps from your loving church family, if you're as blessed as I am) with your name on it: a true sense of home that warms and swells the spirit.

Oh, how I can't wait!

But on to the topic of here, now, and lately:

One definite highlight of college is chapel.  We have it every Tuesday and Friday afternoon. It's a full on service with the addition of announcements.  And because the students here are legends (no bias) we had the first annual Tutorial Wars!!!!

Each tutorial leader had a team and WOW, did the students take it seriously.  There were costumes, massive flags, drums, chants, face paint: it was like summer camp up in there! And the best part is that everyone was into it, including college staff.  Of course, as if there was ever a doubt, Team miYAMmy Heat (my tutorial) won!!!

Even this spontaneous event taught me about ministry: it taught me about the importance of "buy-in".  Forgive me if I've talked about this already, but it's such a personally convicting revelation. It was the first Tutorial Wars ever, therefore there wasn't a standard to be met or surpassed.  The hype around the event were completely up to us.  

WE SET the STANDARD, the EXPECTANCY, the ATMOSPHERE.

Seriously.

Do you get that?!

There's 2 ways it could have gone: 

1) this is gonna be so lame.  don't get excited. OR 

2) this is gonna be awesome.  bring your A-game!!

I'll be the first to admit how often I default to reaction #1.  So many examples come into my mind from my home church of when I contributed to a failure-expectant atmosphere and I'm just downright disgusted with myself. 

Thank you, Jesus, for forgiving me. 

My heart for you and me is that no matter what it is, at church, at home, at work, or anywhere else, even if we're not 100% excited or on board, we are aware of our power to set the tone.  

"Buy in" to what God is doing.

Have the humility to support something especially when it's not our idea.  Any youth leader, or team leader in general understands how crucial "buy in" is from everyone. 

Don't be Satan's "in" to your ministry.

I'm not sure I articulated that well enough, but my life will be an example from now on.

Unity in the Body

"Just as a body, though one, has many parts, 

but all its many parts form one body, 

so it is with Christ."

1 Corinthians 12:12

GOD's plan for me (and for you) is advancement.

Be about it.

And I get to see things like this:

how blessed are my eyes :)