Today was the first day I shed a "sad tear" when thinking about leaving for Australia. It just came out of no where. I was a little taken aback and then when I realized what was happening, it was too late. I'm not necessarily upset or disheartened that it hit me, I suppose I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
I mean, if I'm pretending that time doesn't matter and I have more of it than I really do then I won't feel sad, right?!
Isn't that how things work? Can't I control it?
It's a weird feeling: being homesick while still being home.
Very weird, indeed. But yet familiar; I went through the same thing after coming home from Austria.
I'll never forget it: I was sitting with my dear friend Lacy (whose blog you'd be lucky enough to discover) in B&N and I just remember looking at her thinking, "I miss her, but she's right here."
This is bigger.
I'm going further away, for longer, and I'm more mentally aware of the pending change than I was in 2008. I'm not sure if being more aware is a good or bad thing...
Loosely related, moving and leaving friends and family reminds me of Hannah (1 Samuel) and how she only saw Samuel once a year. How did she do that?! I just can't imagine seeing my son once a year, but she made a vow to God and she was faithful in that, no matter how difficult. She knew God's will for Samuel was better for him than being with her everyday. At tough as that is to comprehend, she trusted God's kindness and goodness. I trust His kindness and goodness, and everything else He is for that matter. If Australia is the Lord's will for me then it is best for me. As heart-wrenching as leaving will be (and apparently is) I would be more fearful to not be in the Lord's will.
On a completely unrelated and less emotional note, Amanda is getting married in less than a month and I need a date.
Any takers?
I mean, if I'm pretending that time doesn't matter and I have more of it than I really do then I won't feel sad, right?!
Isn't that how things work? Can't I control it?
It's a weird feeling: being homesick while still being home.
Very weird, indeed. But yet familiar; I went through the same thing after coming home from Austria.
I'll never forget it: I was sitting with my dear friend Lacy (whose blog you'd be lucky enough to discover) in B&N and I just remember looking at her thinking, "I miss her, but she's right here."
This is bigger.
I'm going further away, for longer, and I'm more mentally aware of the pending change than I was in 2008. I'm not sure if being more aware is a good or bad thing...
Loosely related, moving and leaving friends and family reminds me of Hannah (1 Samuel) and how she only saw Samuel once a year. How did she do that?! I just can't imagine seeing my son once a year, but she made a vow to God and she was faithful in that, no matter how difficult. She knew God's will for Samuel was better for him than being with her everyday. At tough as that is to comprehend, she trusted God's kindness and goodness. I trust His kindness and goodness, and everything else He is for that matter. If Australia is the Lord's will for me then it is best for me. As heart-wrenching as leaving will be (and apparently is) I would be more fearful to not be in the Lord's will.
On a completely unrelated and less emotional note, Amanda is getting married in less than a month and I need a date.
Any takers?
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